Rambling Thoughts of an old man….

A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.

G. K. Chesterton (1874 – 1936)

                First part of September I will be turning 50. Contemplating my mortality I am posting rambling thoughts on the truths that I have learned and witnessed in my life. I am currently writing a book on simple common sense ideas and truths that I have found to be irrevocably true. I have included a few quotes from famous conservative pundits because this is my Blog and I have found them to be true time and time again. Some of these you will realize most of these are indeed true. Some of you will have heard these concepts before but that does not take away from their truth. And some of you will just outright reject them as is your God Given right to do so not only as an American, or Australian, or Canadian. or English, or even a Russian, but it’s your God given right as a human being….

                There is a God..He is all powerful. “A political party cannot be all things to all people. It must represent certain fundamental beliefs which must not be compromised to political expediency or simply to swell its numbers.” – Ronald Reagan.  Wheat bread is so much better than white.  No nation has ever taxed itself into prosperity.  Hockey is so much more fun to watch than baseball.  “Hearing politicians tell us “we” can’t “afford” a tax cut is like listening to a glutton tell you he can’t “afford” a diet. In no other context do people talk about “paying for” money they don’t have. I can’t pay for your refusal to give me money because I need a yacht”. — Ann Coulter. Each of us are standing in the palm of God’s hand, most of us don’t even realize that. Liberalism stems from ignorance. Ronald Reagan is the best president of the 20th century. Attending Church is not optional for a Christian…according to the Bible. Abortion is murder. The hamburger is the single greatest food of all time.

                People who smoke are among the least brightest people on the earth. The ACLU is evil and will be the organization that sets the foundation for Christian persecution in America. American’s are too fat…Hey, can someone hand me that Twinkie? Rap music is as a whole terrible, country music as a whole is terrible. Homosexuality is a sin. Quentin Terintino is the most overrated film maker of our time.  Adam Sandler hasn’t made a funny movie since Happy Gilmore. U2 is a so-so band. George W. Bush is the right man for the job, he will go down in the history books as one of the greats. “We’ve finally given liberals a war against fundamentalism, and they don’t want to fight it. They would, except it would put them on the same side as the United States”. — Ann Coulter

                 Soy Chocolate Milk isn’t half bad (if you’re really, really thirsty). Cleaning toilets is way easier and much more pleasant than cleaning windows. The Passion was one of the most beautifully made and truthful movies of all time.  “You could afford your house without your government – if it weren’t for your government”. — Rush Limbaugh. A warm chocolate chip cookie and a cold glass of milk is one of the greatest combinations of all time. It’s the closest thing to heaven on earth that can be had. Barry White had himself a deep voice.  Brian Regan is probably the funniest comedian ever. Tim B. can back me up on that one. Jesus Christ is our first, last, and only hope. Elvis was fat when he died.

                The best motivator for a senior to get good grades is getting accepted into a major university. There’s no such thing as eating too many cookies, too much chocolate, or drinking too much Starbucks coffee. If you’re late for an appointment, the police officer (that you needed last week and couldn’t find) will be right behind you, signaling for you to pull over so he can have a nice little chat. All the stuff you promised when you were a teenager that you would never do or say to your kids, you will do and say when they become teenagers. Kids really don’t appreciate their parents until they have kids of their own. All the stuff you think you’re getting away with? You’re not. Remember that your parents were kids at one time. Your child’s hearing problem will suddenly disappear when you call him down for his allowance. Don’t ever say, “I will never do that,” because you will. In a blink of an eye, your newborn baby will be off to college; take lots of pictures while he or she is still young.

                The things that were the most important to you at age 10 will be replaced by equally important stuff when you turn 20, and again when you turn 30 and then again at 40.( I’ll let you know if they change again when I reach 50 in 3 weeks). A good partner in life can lift you up and help you achieve things way beyond your dreams. A bad partner can hold you down and destroy those dreams. Marriage is never bad; people are. Most of the time you don’t get out of life what you think you should; you get out of life what you’re supposed to. Some of the happiest people I’ve met have been the poorest, and some of the most miserable people I’ve met have been the richest.

                You never get lost driving when your fuel gauge reads full. You never get lost unless you have to use the bathroom really, really bad. Once opened, a street map is impossible to fold back up the correct way. As soon as you tell The Wife you know where you are going, you will get hopelessly lost. The person who needs a vacation the most is the person who just came back from one. The stock that went nowhere but down when you owned it will go through the roof right after you sell it for a loss. It’s a very bad idea to buy stock in an airline when it files for bankruptcy the next month. And this one really hurt: you buy $2,000 of a certain donut stock, right before the new low-carbohydrate, low-sugar craze sends the stock into the toilet. The seminars on retirement aren’t important to you until you reach 40, then they’re the most interesting meetings you’ll ever attend. The toes you step on at work will one day be connected to the very person you seek a promotion from. The geeks from your high school are still geeks, unless of course they know a lot about computers. Then they’re called computer consultants and cost $125 an hour. The kids who were jerks to you when you were in high school and were in and out of the principal’s office have all grown up by now. They’re still jerks, but now they’re just in and out of jail.

                No phone call after 11 p.m. is ever good. When we’re young, we spend our time trying to look old, and when we’re old, we spend all of our time trying to look young. No one ever drops over to visit when your house is clean; they wait until it’s filthy. Don’t wear anything white when you eat Italian food. The small country town where you grew up was in the middle of nowhere and held nothing for you to do. It seemed to have more cows than people, and you couldn’t get away from it fast enough when you were grown and went off to college. Now that you have a family, that same small town out in the middle of nowhere that had nothing for you to do looks like the best place to raise your family. Too bad a one-acre lot will now cost you $70,000.

                And so, Life goes on….